As adults, juggle, lovers and professionals, friends, earn, moms, we are expected to handle, sisters, wives, balance, nurture and be always-on-call caregivers.
Southern Fried White TrashCrabgrass Publishing, LLC #ad - A married mom and former corporate executive brought up by an old-school Southern mother, the author brings a hilarious perspective to old-vs-new-school life in the South,. In the spirit of southern humor brought to us by writers and comics like Lewis Grizzard, Jeff Foxworthy, Carole Adams Townsend's debut book, and Bret Butler, “Southern Fried White Trash, ” is a must-have for tried-and true Southern enthusiasts.
Carole townsend is a news correspondent and online columnist for the Gwinnett Daily Post newspaper in Georgia. It has a twist, though. Townsend satirizes real life through the eyes of a Southerner, born and raised.
This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: Parenting. Marriage. MadnessLulu Publishing Services #ad - The short chapters either recount specific stories from the front lines "the day we caught our kids looking at their butt holes, or words of wisdom "5 things I Never Should Have Said To My Pregnant Wife, warnings, " "She Sent Me to the Store for Feminine Hygiene Products" or take the form of lists--numbered observations, " "10 Contradictions That Make Me Want to Run From My Minivan And Into The Woods".
If you are a parent, or thinking about any of these roles, wife, husband, this book is for you. Parenting and marriage, as he describes them, are humbling, in both the worst lots of poop and vomit and best personal growth ways. It will make you think. The truth, of course, is that no parent knows what he or she is doing--not even Mel--and that's part of the fun as well as the horror.
This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: Parenting. Marriage. Madness #ad - It will make you cry. Edwards is invariably funny, wry, and self-deprecating. It will make you laugh. Sometimes all three at the same time. Clint edwards has no idea what he's doing raising the son and two daughters he has with his loving and ever patient wife, Mel.
Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee: The Crazy, Brilliant, and Unforgettable Lessons We've Learned from Our MothersBlue Lobster Book Co. #ad - And the hilarious side-pokers: Always wear clean underwear. Some of the tales will make you laugh; some will make you cry; and a few will leave you questioning how we ever survived our childhoods, let alone learn a few lessons. The same women who breathe life into our limbs also smother us with their ominous, clever, and oh-so celebrated words—life lessons taught in the blink of an eye.
There are the extraordinary one-liners: When you get to be my age, you’ll understand. Although they may at times seem a little faulty, cook like Julia Child, our mothers and motherly figures could drive like Andretti, and shake someone up like an Italian mobster. Moms have a lot to say, and they’re not shy about letting it all out.
Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee: The Crazy, Brilliant, and Unforgettable Lessons We've Learned from Our Mothers #ad - This is especially true if you were told to only remove the fuzz from one-half of your legs when you were just thirteen years old. Only trollops shave above the knee: the crazy, and unforgettable lessons We’ve Learned from Our Mothers blends more than forty heart-warming, funny, Brilliant, and authentically told stories about the craziness of being reared and raised with the hard-hitting anecdotes that kept our mothers sane.
We’ve survived and thrived, and never forgotten their enlightening words. We were listening after all. Now sit up straight! Then there are those unusual “momisms” that totally mess with the offspring mind.
KooKooLandRegan Arts. #ad - Gloria norris’s kookooLand is a memoir written on the edge of a knife blade. Gloria’s mom, tries not to rock the boat, Virginia unwisely defies Jimmy, Shirley, and Gloria fashions herself into his sidekick—the son he never had. The story that unfolds is a profound portrait of how violence echoes through a family, and through a community.
From the tragedy, gloria finds a way to carve out a future on her own terms and ends up just where she wants to be. Chilling, and darkly funny, intensely moving, it cuts to the heart and soul of a troubled American family, and announces the arrival of a startlingly original voice. Gloria norris grew up in the projects of Manchester, her sister, New Hampshire with her parents, Virginia, and her cat, Sylvester.
KooKooLand #ad - . But it is at hank piasecny’s gun shop that Gloria meets the person who will change her life. While hank and jimmy trade good-humored insults, Gloria comes under the spell of Hank’s college-age daughter, Susan. A snapshot might show a happy, young family, but only a dummkopf would buy that. Nine-year-old Gloria is gutsy and wisecracking.
Her father, jimmy, all dazzle and danger, is often on the far side of the law and makes his own rules—which everyone else better follow. Gripping and unforgettable, KooKooLand is a triumph.
Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern EndearmentsSt. Martin's Griffin #ad - Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern-and just plain human-foibles, up-close and personal. So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp.
From the wickedly hilarious pen of southern humorist Celia Rivenbark comes a collection of essays that brings to mind Dave Barry in high heels or Jeff Foxworthy in a prom dress. Step into the wacky world of "womanless wedding" fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else.
Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments #ad - Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing.
You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the MorningSt. Martin's Press #ad - Topics include such gems as: • why miss north carolina is too nice to hate • how gwyneth paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life • strapped for cash? try cat whispering • Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that? • Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time • Airlines serving up one hot mess • Action figure Jesus • Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter • And much more! Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.
From the author of the bestselling classics we're just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, comes a collection of essays so funny, Tramp, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose.
Blood in the Soil: A True Tale of Racism, Sex, and Murder in the SouthSkyhorse Publishing #ad - Blood in the soil details with stark honesty the terrible truths that characterized the South during the volatility of the sixties and seventies, and the ugly reality that lay just beneath its veneer of warm hospitality. This true account of the crime is told alternately from Det. The first book about the investigation into the attempted murder of Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt—and the serial killer who shot him.
In gwinnett county, georgia, in 1978, Larry Flynt and his attorney were shot and injured on their way back to court during an obscenity trial. The monster that was joseph paul franklin was the result of a perfect storm of circumstances, integration, which included poverty, cruel abuse as a child, the detestation and mistrust between blacks and whites, and the hate groups that operated and recruited openly.
Blood in the Soil: A True Tale of Racism, Sex, and Murder in the South #ad - J. Michael cowart’s perspective and chronologically following the shooter’s life from childhood through his execution. . Cowart tells the story of how his attempts to befriend Franklin gave him the information he needed to prosecute the case—and gave him astonishing insight into many of Franklin’s other cold-blooded killings and crimes, and his twisted justification for them.